Friday, December 15, 2006

Finding a Fool's Voice

Wow... someone has been conspicuously absent.

A number of possible reasons present themselves.
- I've been too busy, what with my new position, learning the ropes, meeting people, attending meetings, and all that fun.
- I haven't had any pressing issues that needed blogging about.
- I didn't think anyone would notice.

None of which are true. (Well, I have been busy...)

No, the real reason I haven't been around?

I lost my voice.

Horrible thing to happen to a jester.
Oh sure, I speak mime, every good jester does. But, this is something more than that.
I didn't lose my power of speech. (I've been speaking a great deal lately, actually.)

I lost my Fool's voice.

You see, Jesters have a responsibility. They speak the truth to power. They reveal the hidden.
With mockery and mimicry and laughter (and good will, one hopes), Jesters pierce illusions and assumptions.
They tip sacred cows. Dance with the elephants in the room.
That's what Jesters do.

And for that, they need a special Fool's voice.

For the first time in a very long time, I'm having trouble finding that voice.

I remember a time, long ago, when I used to regularly attend an improve comedy show called Comedy Sportz. I loved it. I would play the improve games with my friends all the time. I was good at it. I enjoyed it. And then, one evening, when they asked for volunteers to go head-to-head in an improve game, I raised my hand.
There I was... up on stage, playing a game I'd seen a dozen times, a game I'd played with my friends more times than I count.
The Comedy Sportz athlete "served" the first line my way... and.... and... I froze.
I'm in the spotlight, my friends are in the audience, the crowd is waiting...
and I couldn't find my voice.
My mind was blank.

They give me a second chance...
and I managed to find my voice for all of two "rounds"
and then I sat there under the lights, quiet as a church mouse.

I was mortified. I was embarrased. I slinked off the stage in shame.


Fear is the Fool's natural born enemy, you see.
And this Jester isn't wearing a mask. The lights are up. And there are people out there watching.

It has taken me some time to figure out what truths I can tell, in what way I can tell them, while keeping my head (figuratively speaking.)

I'm back, now. And I've found my Fool's voice.
The show, after all, must go on.

Thanks for waiting.

3 comments:

ronia the resilient said...

YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
missed you!
DO

J said...

Glad to see you.

raj said...

congrats, Jester. May your voice carry you places only fools dare to tread. :)