Unplanned Absence

The few regular readers I have out there were probably not surprised by my recent absence. I'm not as regular a poster as I'd like to be or as I ought to be.

But this time, the absence wasn't by choice.

It was imposed on me by Blogger powers that be.
For some reason, they identified this blog as a "spam site".
(Must have been the unusual levels of activity....)

Anyway, after a month and repeated requests-- UU-Jester has been found innocent of said charges and is back on-line.

Now, I've got half a dozen posts to catch up on.

Just Curious

A Semi-Imaginary Conversation

Fellow Human Being: Excuse me?
Me: Yes.
Fellow Human Being: I enjoyed the service. It was very interesting.
Me: Thank you.
Fellow Human Being: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Me: Not at all.
(Haven't I heard this question asked in that exact frame of voice before???)
Fellow Human Being: Do you believe in life after death?
Me: Me personally, or my faith tradition?
Fellow Human Being: You.
Me: Hmmm. I don't know. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
Fellow Human Being: I do.
Me: I hope your belief brings comfort to your life and guides your actions well.
(I've never said that...but it sounds like a good thing to say.)
Fellow Human Being: Do you ever use the bible?
Me: Oh, yes. Quite often. I used it in preparing this service, actually.
(Hmmm... Deja Vu... I'm sure I've had this conversation before.)
Fellow Human Being: Oh. Well, I'm a Christian.
Me: Really. I wouldn't have guessed.
(Too snarky? Yeah, too snarky. How about...)
Me (take two): Oh, good for you.
(Still sounds snarky? Well, what if I say it with sincerity? I mean, I really do think being a Christian is good for this person. Ok? Ok.)
Fellow Human Being: Do you believe in the bible?
Me: Absolutely. I've seen it. I've actually touched a few of them.
(OK, now that is just being mean. True. But, I know where this is going. Is it wrong of me to want to end it prematurely?)
Me (take two, again): What do you mean by believe?
(A perfectly good question-- but you are just prolonging the inevitable. Might as well cut to the chase.)
Me (take three): Do you mean, do I believe in the bible as the infallible word of God.
Fellow Human Being (now smiling wide): Yes, exactly.
Me: No, I do not.
Fellow Human Being: Why not?
Me: (Sigh) Why not?
Fellow Human Being: Yes, I'm just curious.
Me: No, you're not.
(This is where my fantasy conversation really begins, because now I KNOW I've had this conversation before.)
Fellow Human Being: Yes, I am.
Me: Really? You're curious? You really care about my faith, my beliefs, my understanding of the world? Or are you just trying to enter into a conversation with me in an attempt to convince me of the error of my ways? Curiosity implies a desire to learn, an openness to answers and ideas. Is that the type of curious we are talking about? Because if you are-- then I would love to talk to you. I would love to have that conversation. I hope and dream and prepare and live for such conversations. Nothing makes me giddier than the open exchange of ideas and beliefs, sincerely, honestly, and compassionately. Are you really curious?
Fellow Human Being: I'm interested in why you believe what you believe.
Me: Are you considering a change of faith or switching religions.
Fellow Human Being: No, of course not.
Me: Then why would you want me to share with you ideas and beliefs that might shake your faith. Unless you don't plan to listen to them at all. Unless you just want to argue with me.
Fellow Human Being: No, I'm just asking the question. I don't wish to offend you.
Me: Oh, asking sincere questions doesn't offend me.
Fellow Human Being: Well, then, I'm very curious as to why you don't believe in the bible.
(We covered that earlier; we'll skip it now as a sign of respect--or futility--either one.)
Me: I don't believe in the bible as the inerrant word of God for many reasons. If you wish an example, then I guess I would point to the many inconsistencies between the many myths, legends, and accounts it contains.
Fellow Human Being: What inconsistencies?
(OK...see, I knew we were headed there. I knew it. When people start out with that phrase, "I'm curious" in that friendly/detached tone of voice, I know we are headed here. Like a car accident I can't steer out of--just waiting for the crunch of ideas and the shattering of honesty--followed by the sickening sense of minutes of life drifting away never to be seen or heard again. But I'm a minister. I'm called to teach. I'm called to share wisdom when I can. I am called to help those who ask for it. I must carry on this charade to the bittern end.)
Me: What inconsistencies in the bible? How about we start at the beginning. The two stories of the Earth's creation in Genesis.
Fellow Human Being: What two stories?
Me: (Deep breath. You're in it now. If you had stayed with snark, you might not have gotten to this point.) The two creation stories in Genesis. If you aren't familiar with them, go back and read Genesis. They are fascinating stories--inconsistent and directly related to stories from earlier religions, but fascinating all the same.
Fellow Human Being (less friendly, but still smiling the same smile we started with):
I have read Genesis. I read it today.
Me: Oh. Good for you. Then you know all about the two stories.
Fellow Human Being: There is only one story. God created the earth in seven days...
Me: Do you really want to do this here and now?
Fellow Human Being: I'm just curious.
Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
(Sure, back to the snark. It's a great line, but I fear it will not be appreciated--or worse, not even acknowledged.)
Me (take two, last time): If you are curious, why don't you give me a call at my office at the church. I would be glad to answer your questions then if you would like to make an appointment. I'm just not sure this is the right time and place for this conversation.
Fellow Human Being: Why not?
Me: Well, for one, this is a memorial service and there are grieving family and friends who may actually want to talk about their deceased loved ones or seek comfort from the minister. And, two, you aren't curious. You aren't interested. You aren't listening and we aren't having a conversation. You are trying to convert me, bait me, ignore me, and lie to my face about your motives...
and it just isn't very becoming of a person of faith
or a fellow human being.


I have heard this conversation, with that same "curious" line, many times. I'm guessing that the faiths that put out the "how to convert the ______" booklets also coach their followers in this "non-threatening" style of confrontation. Please note, when I advocate for greater evangelizing of our faith-- this is not the insincere, intolerant, dishonest approach I am advocating.

The Power Inbetween

I woke up and rewrote a few pages of that morning's sermon.
My wife asked me, "How's the sermon."
I replied, "Eh. I don't know. It is what it is. Bumbaugh would mark it up."
She gave me an encouraging smile and said, "I'm sure it'll be all right."
I gave her a small smile in return, collected a good-bye kiss, and headed to church.
I rewrote a few paragraphs when I got there.
Then, the service time drawing to a close, I said to myself, "Perhaps, it being the hottest Sunday of the Summer (so far), and our lack of air conditioning in the sanctuary, will limit the number of people in the pews."
I also paused to look at the "prayer" hanging on my office bulletin board,
written by David Bumbaugh, my ministry and preaching professor at Meadville Lombard,

PRAYER BEFORE DELIVERING A SERMON

What in the name of all that's holy
am I doing here?
What in the name of all that's holy
are they doing here?
Whatever possessed me
to think this sermon worth delivering
to this congregation,
to any congregation?

Ideas that seemed so fresh
now sound trite, hackneyed,
scarcely thought through.
The words have been chosen
because I like the way they sound,
the way they flow together,
the way they fill the space,
or because there another word
I can't think of,
another word that says it better,
but I can't think of it at the moment,
so this word,
which doesn't quite work,
will have to do.

Oh,God,
if you are there,
please help them hear in this sermon
something I didn't know I said.
Help them hear in the silences
the message they need to hear.
Let there be some richness
I did not plan.

Dear God,
help me remember
what I say is less important
than what I they hear,
else I'll never dare
occupy a pulpit again.

-deb


The service went well. It was very hot in the sanctuary.
Lots of people showed up anyway.
111, to be exact.
And I' received more requests for that sermon to be printed than any other so far.
The Sermon Prologue will be coming soon.


There is something that happens in the sanctuary.
We ministers say the words.
The musicians play the music and the choirs sing.
And the people in the pews listen and hear and sometimes sing along.
But--
there is something that happens between the saying and the hearing,
between the music and the words,
between--
something happens transformative
between what goes out into the vaulted space of the sanctuary
and what comes in to the ears, hearts, and minds of those present.

And none of us are responsible for that transformative Inbetween
or maybe
we are all responsible for it
either way
it leaves me amazed, grateful, energized, exhausted, and absolutely blessed
every Sunday
I feel it.

"No Stupid Questions" - Prologue

On June 17th, I participated in my first ever Quesion Box sermon.
In case you are unfamiliar with that sermon format, let me give you a brief description.

At the beginning of the service, those in attendance are given a note card or a piece of paper and encouraged to write down a question for the minister. During the hymn or meditative music, the questions are collected. Then, with very little prep time (enough to order the questions), the minister answers the questions.

The Question Box sermon has a couple of things going for it:
1. If you are good at thinking on your feet and speaking extemporaneously, it can be very impressive.
2. It is more personal and engaging then most sermon forms.
3. It requires less work for the minister (no sermon prep time that week.)
4. It generates sermon ideas for the next year (questions that can't be answered quickly or briefly.)

I thought it went very well and the feedback I received was overwhelmingly positive.
I plan to make it an annual event in the summer.

Here are some of the questions I recieved-- and some brief answers.

• What does the rooster on the top of the building symbolize?
That is the Chanticleer. What it symbolizes, I do not know. The Rooster has many symbolic meanings depending on who you ask. When I think of it, I think of two things-- greeting the new day with joy and excitment and a caution against arrogrance and false pride.

• Do you believe in God? If so, why?
First, you will have to define God for me. Then, I will be able to answer that question.

• How would you define the meaning of our existence for those who are atheists or agnostics?
I wouldn't. I don't think we should be defining the meaning of other people's existence. I think that is solely your right and your responsibility. I can tell you what I think the meaning of my existence is though...

"We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know." WH Auden

• What is the meaning of life?
Short Answer: 42
Long Answer: See the previous question AND you are going to have to define your question better if I'm to answer it.

• What, do you percieve, is a universal question that is the most difficult to answer?
Good Question! I spent a good deal of time on this one during the sermon. I'll give my short answer here.
For UUs, the hardest question to deal with is the question of evil. What is it? Why does it occur? What should our response to it be? All liberal relgions tend to look at the sunny side of life and gloss over the more depraved parts of humanity. It has been so for hundreds of years and continues to be so today.

• Why is there no coffee today? Was the decision made on theological grounds?
I don't know if they meant to make that pun or not-- either way, it still makes me giggle.

• Who are some famous political UU's in our nation's history?
Well, if they were really famous, I wouldn't have to answer this question, now would I?
A quick search turns up a few websites with lists to answer this question-- though I'm never sure of the veracity of the claims. We do tend to "adopt" people into our faith tradition when we like what they do or say, regardless of whether or not they were actually members of a Unitarian or Universalist congregation.

• How does this church directly help "the needy"?
We donate food and money to Interchange, which runs a food pantry in the area. We volunteer and provide resources to a local women's shelter. Many of our other social justice activities are directed at indirectly "helping the needy" by working to achieve justice in mulitiple arenas.

• Take a circle and caress it. There is nothing more vicious than a vicious cricle on your hands.
Is this true or false? Is this a "koan"?
Often things are not this or that. They are both/and. And if you say it is a koan, I won't argue with you.

• Why do we gain and lose members? Our UU churches seem to have revolving doors.
Very true. There are many answers to that question. Here are a few to choose from:
- We don't have what our visitors are looking for...
- We don't make our visitors feel welcome and at ease...
- It is just the natural ebb and flow of people in an institution...
- We aren't evangelizing enough or living our faith enough...
- We are always changing and some people do not like change...
- We forget to engage with members who have been here a while...
- We don't have a parking lot...
- We need more space...

These are not my answers related to FUS, but rather answers I've heard in growth literature and workshops.
They might point us in the right direction for answering the question as relates to us.
(Though it should be noted that our membership is growing and growing at an above average rate.)

• Did you have a favorite teacher in high school? What was your favorite class?
Introductory Scientific Principles taught by Mr. Bockenhauer.

• What's enough?
and
• Is there really such a thing as balance in life? If so, how do you achieve it?
and
• Where do we find peace?
and
• What are some similarities and differences between the Unitarian tradition and the Universalist tradition?
Hmmm. Good Questions. I think these may be furture sermons.

• What do you like about living in Milwaukee?
Well, I don't live in Milwaukee. I live in Brookfield. (Stop booing and hissing. It doesn't become you.)
This is what I like about the Milwaukee area in no particular order:
- First Unitarian Society of Milwaukee (and our other UU congregations)
- The Lake Front and the Skyline
- Sprecher Root Beer
- Friendly People
- Friday Night Fish Frys
- Traffic Jams that only take 15 minutes to get through
- Changing Seasons
- Summer Festivals and Celebrations
- Being in Wisconsin

• What are the best two books you have read in the past year and why?
Hmmm. In the past, this would have been a hard question to answer because of the amazing number of books I'd read. This year, it is difficult to answer for the opposite reason. I have had trouble finding the time to read the books I want to read this year. In looking back at the year and my bookshelf, I really can't answer the question.
This leaves me feeling very sad.
I will have to work on this for next year.

• What advice would you give parents and grandparents as they raise their children in 2007?
EGADS! The first thing I would tell them is to not solicit or take advice from people who don't have children.
If they decided to disregard that advice, I would them the following:
Give them Love. Give them Honesty. Give them Reasonable Demands and Expectations.
Give them Forgiveness.
And the same applies to the parents themselves.

• Why do some people die while their loved ones are left to grieve?
I really hope the writer of this question comes to me in person. This is a question that deserves a face to face answer.
Until then, let me offer this incomplete and insufficient answer.
First, all people die. All people grieve. It is one of the universals of humanity (and beyond humanity.)
Why? Because that is the nature of life. Without death there can be no new life.
This is small comfort when someone you love dies-- and it isn't intended to be.
The hardest lesson I have learned amidst the dying and the grieving is this--
There is no comfort to be given, no explanation, no fixing the problem at that time.
The best I can do, the best any of us can do, is to be fully present and compassionate.
To be with someone during this time of hurt and sorrow and loss,
and to remind them with our presence
that they are not alone.

And with that, the question box is empty-- until next year.

"Hope and Fear: Cousins in Conflict" - Prologue

Last weeks service:

“Hope and Fear: Cousins in Conflict”

Fear is often an unwelcome guest. He shows up when least expected, sometimes taking up residence. Becoming a part of your home, your church, your country--your life. It wouldn't be so bad, except Fear is so demanding as a house guest. Demanding our attention, involving himself in our conversations--and in our thinking. Fortunately, Fear rarely goes anywhere without his cousin, Hope. Hope is quiet and kind. She wants to help out where she can. When you talk to her, you will find out she is stronger than her cousin—
and actually, more demanding.

Readings from:
J. Ruth Gendler's Book of Qualities
(One of my favorite texts for worship planning. I highly reccomend it for everyone's personal library.)

Rabbi Michael Lerner's The Left Hand of God
(Another good book. I hope some of the candidates for the next presidential election have read it. Heck, I hope our next president actually reads books.>

And my addititon to Ms. Gendler's pantheon of qualities.

HOPE

Hope is quiet.
She is easily overlooked.
And while she goes to all the parties, loves crowds and gatherings, she is rarely seen.

People often forget to invite her, and just as often forget she was present.
But Hope doesn’t mind.
She likes the hustle and the bustle.
She likes doing small things while people aren’t looking.
Straightening pictures on the wall.
Carrying empty dishes to the kitchen.
Little assistance, rarely noticed.

When she was a child, Hope had an unfortunate experience with a game of Hide and Seek.
When her cousin Fear had been found, the girl they were playing with stopped looking for Hope.


As a young adult, Hope had numerous relationships.
But they rarely lasted—her lovers held her too tight.
They were really in love with her cousin, but were too afraid to say so.

Hope and Fear are both best friends with Change, and they often go traveling together.

Some day, with Ms.Gendler's blessing I hope, I would like to write a sequel to her book.
There are many other qualities out there waiting to be introduced.

And the closing words:

HOPE held too tightly is really FEAR,
HOPE let loose in the World—
is HOLINESS made FREE.

Burning the Midnight Oil

UU-Jester is a night owl.
He does most of his reading after the sun goes down.
He does most of his writing after the world has gone to bed.
This works well for him.

Usually.

Last night, UU-Jester was working on a wedding plan.
At a certain point, the sandman came a-calling and UU-Jester couldn't keep his eyes open.
Wisely, he put down his computer and went to bed, resolving to work on the rest of the wedding plan this morning.

This morning, UU-Jester wiped the sleep out of his eyes, stumbled to his computer, and looked for where he had left off on the wedding. This is what he found:

Exchange of Vows
Question of Intent
Couple Exchange Vows
Read individual Vows
Couple floats upwards.


Couple floats upwards?

Sometimes, working late into the morning is very, very foolish.

A Change of Color

Well, hello, there.

Forgive me, Reader, for I have sinned.
It has been 4 months since my last blogging.

Oh, wait, wrong faith. Must have been a guilt flashback from my early religious days.

It has been a very busy four months and UU-Jester has been having some identity issues.
Or, to put it differently, I'm still struggling with what to do with this blog.

After much thought, I've decided to turn my jester hat around to a new color.
The first jester hat I owned is a very simple four corner-four color hat with four bells on it.
It has a red panel, a green panel, a yellow panel, and a blue panel.

When I wore that hat, I was very intentional about two things:
One, I would always speak the truth while I wore it (that is what jesters are supposed to do.)
Two, I would always wear the appropriat color to fit my mood and intentions.
Green - Happy and Mirthful
Blue - Sad or Quiet
Yellow - Cautious or Tender
Red - Angry and Agressive

Now, all of these are valid attitudes for a jester to have and I have played the jester under each color.
But these past few months, I've been trying to jester with the Yellow or Red colors facing front.
I've been angry about things I've seen in my larger denomination or fearful about how my new congregation would judge me.
And honestly, Angry jestering and Fearful jestering are the hardest jestering to do well.
(They also require the most energy.)

So, its time to change the colors.
I'm turning my hat around to Green, with the occasional Blue.
Yellow and Red will be reserved for those special, rare occasions.

UU Jester's Journal will change a little.
It will have funny observations about this ministry we share.
It will have observations about this stage on which we all play our scenes.
It will have additional comments and resources from my worship services.
And I'm going to try and make entries a regular process. Once a week, or two at the most.

Time to turn the hat and live a different color.

More Powerful Words

Riddle me this: When is a church not a church?

A fair question, it seems.
I am currently a minister at a society.
But rarely do I hear people saying on Sunday morning, "I'm going to society (or to the society.)"
Most of them say, "I'm going to church."

And in our newsletter style sheet, the standard is to refer to this congregation as First Church.
(A nod to the problematic length of The First Unitarian Society, I suppose.)

Now, being the contrarian sematicist that I am, (or is that a semantic contrarian?)
I try desperately to resist this First Church label.
Why? (other than my contrary nature?)
Because I don't think we were the first church.
Certainly not the first one in the state.
Most likely not the first one in the city.
Maybe, we were the first one on our street. Who knows... we've moved a couple of times.
(I have served a church that was the first in its geographical area-- and they don't call themselves First Church-- but I digress.)
So, I just have a hard time with First Church.
I will resist until I can no longer resist -- or until orderd to desist.

BUT-- and this important-- please note my objection is to the adjective, not the noun.
It is First, not Church, that causes me to frown.

Which is very much not the case for others in this congregation-- and this denomination.
(Denomination is another word that causes trouble, but we'll save that for another day.)
Recently, I was chastised, politely, to be sure, for repeatedly using the word "Church" in our worship service.
Many words were suggested as alternatives to Church.
Church, it seems is too powerful a word for some.
Which is a shame, really, because it is a perfectly good word.

It does not, as has been suggested to me, refer only to Christianity.
Sure, it has in the past. And, yes, Christians do call their houses of worship churches.
But, meanings change.
And if you look up Church on line, you will find, buried amongst the accepted defintions,
"a place of public worship of a non-Christian religion."

When is a church not a church?
When the power you give the word is more than you can currently accept.

If we change the word, will that solve the problem and remove that power...
or just change a word.

A church by any other name...
might not be playing this semantic game.